Susan Ryan as "Lolita" in Stanley Kubrick's Lolita , 1962

Sue Lyon as "Lolita" in Stanley Kubrick's Lolita, 1962

Gimme Fiction! For her latest column, KAITLIN PHILLIPS takes us on a pretend journey through the ins and outs of worklife, and all of the crazy creatures that rear their cute little heads – from drunk monk haircuts to desperate stuffed animal keychains.